I have a story!
So yesterday, things seemed pretty ok. Amber, Morgan and I were going to meet up with Hank and his wife for some bowling. Seemingly ok so far.. right? Yeah, this is where it goes sideways.
So we meet up at the suggested bowling alley and attempt to reserve a lane. We get there at 19:30 and are told we can have a lane around 20:00-20:30. Ok, whatever, they have air hockey. Yeah, this is where it gets bad. So I am playing air hockey with Morgan and kicking his ass. The puck keeps getting stuck under every rail which results in us having to physically pull it out and put it back on the table. So after a couple of games of me kicking his ass (he never scored once) I do some investigating. Turns out, the table is broken and there is a piece of metal BLOCKING the goal on my side of the table. No wonder!! No matter though, Hank and his wife just showed up. So we go and ask the clerk how much longer (it is now 20:15). She replies with "the leagues dont finish until 9pm. Any experienced bowler would know that". WTF?? REally?? Nice. So we tell the lady to take us off the list cause we are done here. Mind you, 6 lanes were unused at that point.
Next bowling alley. This is the ghetto one in north Lynnhood. The one with all punk kids that are adamantly opposed to pants that are affixed at the waist and the obvious inability to put a baseball cap on straight. We walk in, see about 7 lanes open and ask about availability. They inform us that all of the lanes are taken for the night. Shit!
Next bowling alley. This time we called ahead to make sure we could bowl. They tell us, get here in 15 minutes and tehy will hold a lane for us. We get there in time. We get a lane right away. No problem. Über ghetto here. The people dont seem to be bad, just the facility. Still reeks of cigarette smoke from the 70s. No biggie though. I go to order a pitcher from the barmaid. When I get to the bar I ask what they have on tap. She responds with 'look for yourself'. The taps are an easy 10 feet away. Kinda hard to read also. Especially when the handles are turned away from me. So I stand there for a few seconds looking like an idiot trying to read what they have and order the pitcher. Done. Ok, we are now bowling, we have beer, and the quaint ghetto bowling alley doesnt seem so bad. We close the place down and head home. This is where the poor luck we were having returns.
First thing after walking in the door is the overwhelming stench of shit and puke. Nicht so güt!! Fete apparently was not feeling well and desecrated her kennel. This is 00:30. I take the kennel outside thinking I can just hose it off. Unfortunately, I have to take the kennel out the front door and walk it down the side of the house to get to the hose in back. After about 5 minutes of attempting to hose the kennel down, it occurs to me that it is now 00:45 and I am standing in my back yard in the dark trying to clean a dog kennel. I gave up. Screw it. I will take care of it in the morning and Fete can sleep in our room.
So off to bed we go. Not so much. Apparently, yesterday was the day to clean the sheets and comforter. So it is now time to make the bed. Not just the simple 'pull the sheets back up and straighten the comforter'. It MAKE the bed. Almost as fun as cutting up 2x4s and nailing a bed frame together at 01:00. Ok, bed is made. Time to sleep.
08:00. Fete has not gotten over whatever caused the problem in the first place. It is now time to jump on the bed (she weighs in at 95lbs) and climb around to let us know she wants out. Amber (awesome wife that she is) gets up to let Fete out so she can empty both ends of her body. Upon getting up, Amber has now realised that Fete did not wait. Dairrhea is on the carpet, and has how been tracked all over the bed (please see the part about how the bed was made 8 hours prior).
Fun times today, hosing off the dog kennel, cleaning poop out of the carpet, and nursing a hangover. No more Mac and Jacks. They make horrible hangovers.
Hope you guys liked my story